Life lessons from Potty Training

Yup, we are finally here. We have intentionally started potty training as part of the "Get Ready for Lydia" initiative. (That's not a real thing. I just made that up as I started typing. Well, her name will be Lydia, but the initiative part...you get the point.) It's an interesting process because like many other things in life, there are multiple ways to do it. There is the "intense 3 day, be naked, stay in the house" method. There is the "wear underwear but no pants" method and the "wear underwear with a diaper over the underwear method" and there's the "they will figure it out" method. (We are between the no pants and diaper over underwear methods.) I have to say that in all this, I have learned (or should I say I'm still learning) a few things that I feel like apply to life in general.

1. It's ok to do what works for you - I know that I can get caught up in doing certain things in certain ways and at times that prohibits me from doing what is best for me and my family. Sometimes it's ok to take a little bit of this and a little bit of that and come up with your own way of accomplishing something as long as it's safe and effective. Think about how many gyms and weight loss programs and work-from-home businesses and life coaches and organizing methods and whatever else there are out there in the world?! What works for one may not work for someone else and that's ok.

2. Don't give up - I'm the type of person that is willing to stop doing something if I don't see that it's working right away. Unfortunately I have probably missed out on a lot because I can tend to stop prematurely. With regards to potty training, I don't have the luxury of saying, "Oh well! Guess you will always wear diapers, Abigail. We tried." I know that this is going to take time and I have to understand that I have to keep at it. It may get messy (literally and figuratively) and it may be frustrating but at the end of the day I can't give up on her or she will give up on herself.

3. Keep your eyes on the prize - It's easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day frustrations and emotions of what is going on but staying focused on the goal will help you to stay motivated. My goal is to only have 1 child in diapers at a time. If I lose sight of that, I won't continue to encourage Abigail to use the potty which means that I'll have to buy 2 sets of diapers when Lydia decides to make an appearance. (No, thank you! Diapers ain't cheap.) So think about it. What is the goal? Ok. Got it? Now, don't forget it. When emotions run high, remind yourself as to what that goal is. It may sound crazy but it will help you get through that temporary setback or flareup or craziness. For me, just thinking about not having to change her diaper one day is motivation enough to keep going.

4. Know when to take a time out - There are times when Abigail does not want to cooperate at all. For whatever reason, she has those moments when she refuses to even hear the word potty. In those moments I have 2 choices: (1) I can force her to do what I want or (2) I can give her a break and try again later. I can tell you from experience that 99% of the times when I have forced her to go, it wasn't pretty. I realized that I may have to just take a time out for both of our sakes. Listen, as much as you would like to get it done and over with, taking a break can actually be beneficial. It gives you time to reassess the situation and renew your mind and energy to start again. In those moments, just take a deep breath and make the most of that time.

5. Celebrate the successes and learn from the failures - When Abigail successfully uses the potty, I go above and beyond to celebrate her. While this is great for her, I realized that it helps me too. It's encouraging to know that at least this one time on this one day, we got it right. For her, the reward is flushing the toilet (I don't do food rewards) and for me the reward is not having to clean up a mess. When she isn't sucessful, I remind her about using the potty and I make a mental note to stay more on top of it. In life, there are moments of success and failure in anything. Be willing to embrace both and move forward. They will both help you to become better both in the short term and in the long run.

Hopefully soon I can write about how she has completely transitioned out of diapers but until then, I am going along for the ride. (I kind of wish I could do a diaper burning ceremony but that might be a little much.)

Be encouraged. You got this!

Athena

#kids